Understanding and Overcoming Imposter Syndrome
Shedding light on imposter syndrome and providing practical steps to overcome it.
Many of us hope to be “good,” or even “excellent,” at what we do. Yet, when striving for that elusive sense of achievement, a shadow often lurks in the corners of one’s mind—for some, that shadow is comprised of what we call “Imposter Syndrome.” At Slate Therapy, we understand the profound impact this internal struggle can have on one's well-being at work, in relationships, in sports, and other important life domains. Join us as we explore the nature of Imposter Syndrome as well as evidence-based steps to overcome its grip.
The Imposter Phenomenon Unveiled
Imposter Syndrome is characterized by doubting one’s abilities and fearing exposure as a fraud, despite evidence to the contrary. It often manifests in high-achieving individuals, following their accomplishments with a vague sense of doubt which can erode their self-esteem. While imposter syndrome commonly arises in academic or vocational settings, it can also show up in relationships, sports, and any areas of one’s life in which one hopes to succeed. If you are like the many individuals who have experienced this phenomenon, you might notice that no matter how often your boss, your partner, your coach, or your friend provides you with positive feedback, you remain unconvinced. Imposter Syndrome can sound like, “Yeah, but they don’t know about the mistake I made last week;” or sometimes, “Just wait until they get to know me better. Then they’ll see I’m not cut out for this;” or even, “Everyone here seems to know what they’re doing—I have to hide the fact that I don’t!” If this sounds like you, we’re glad you’re here!
The Emotional Landscape
The thoughts and emotions accompanying imposter syndrome can be heavy, and can impact one’s sense of confidence, performance, and self-worth. The pervasive self-doubt with which this experience is associated can cause us to question our contributions and performance. Meanwhile, anxious thoughts can perpetuate the cycle as we fear being exposed as undeserving of success. Ironically, those who excel in their fields may be more susceptible, as their high standards for themselves create a breeding ground for feelings of inadequacy. If you have found yourself prone to this way of thinking, you may experience accompanying emotions of anxiety, sadness, shame, doubt, discouragement, or feeling defensive in the face of criticism.
Overcoming Imposter Syndrome: A Compassionate Approach
We know that there isn’t a single tool that will “fix” your experience of Imposter Syndrome. However, there are ways to support yourself in moving through this experience in more helpful, compassionate, and grounded ways. In addition to exploring these experiences with your therapist, a few ideas of how to manage imposter syndrome are listed below.
Acknowledge and Normalize: Understanding that Imposter Syndrome is a common experience can be liberating. Indeed, one of the roots of imposter syndrome is the belief that everyone else has it together or has it figured out (whatever “it” is). Knowing that even accomplished individuals grapple with self-doubt is the first step toward healing. Try imagining someone in your circle you admire feeling the same way you do—chances are good that, at least at some point, they probably have! This exercise of imagining someone else experiencing your thoughts and emotions can support the insight that believing you are incapable and actually being incapable are entirely different things, and often uncorrelated with one another.
Cultivate Self-Compassion: Embracing self-compassion is a transformative step but can sometimes be easier said than done. The first step in moving towards a more compassionate self-view is often trying to “catch” the self-criticism in the moment. The mind can sometimes have, well, a mind of its own; we often forget to stop and reflect on the thoughts showing up for us without recognizing the impact these thoughts are having on our lives. Try building awareness of the kind of criticism your brain comes up with. Make note of what kind of thoughts you have about your performance. Are they compassionate? If not, try to think of what you would tell a friend facing similar challenges. What would you say to them? What would you do for them? Even if saying these things to yourself feels inauthentic at first, self-compassion is a skill, and it takes practice!
Set Realistic Goals: Imposter Syndrome can also be driven by having unrealistic, unattainable, or abstract goals for ourselves. For instance, if you have a goal to “be the best,” or “be excellent at what you do,” it can be difficult to determine how you are doing in moving toward that goal (and therefore, stressful!) Break down overarching goals into manageable steps. Setting achievable milestones not only boosts confidence but also provides tangible evidence of competence when you meet them.
Seek Support: Reach out to mentors, colleagues, or a therapist who can provide guidance and perspective. Sharing your experiences with others can be a cathartic and affirming process.
Embrace Growth Mindset: Embrace the concept of a growth mindset, understanding that abilities can be developed over time through dedication and hard work. This shift in perspective can counteract feelings of being an imposter; if we can understand that performance is about using skills we’ve developed, rather than inherent parts of yourself that are unchanging, we can focus on improving skills we want to learn rather than feeling stuck in what we perceive to be areas of weakness.
Slate Therapy's Approach
At Slate Therapy, we approach Imposter Syndrome with compassion, recognizing the emotional toll it can take on individuals striving for excellence. Our therapists provide a safe space for individuals to explore the roots of their self-doubt and collaboratively develop strategies to overcome Imposter Syndrome, fostering a sense of self-worth and accomplishment.
Join us at Slate Therapy as we navigate the intricate path of understanding and overcoming Imposter Syndrome, embracing scientifically driven principles to illuminate the way toward self-discovery and resilience.